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S2 E7 with Micah & Chasity

Micah: Sweet. Yes. All right, so happy Friday everybody. Um, Grey Box Collective is back with another podcast and we're excited to be here with, um, another one of our wonderful, lovely collaborators. Chasity. Um, thank you for joining us today, , and, uh, I'm your host Micah. Uh, we're super happy to be here. The end of the week is here, so I'm super happy. I know that's for sure. Um, . Uh, but yeah, how are you doing? Um, tell us a little bit about yourself?

Chasity: Um, I second that on Friday. It's here. Um, I am Chasity Flores. I'm from Arizona, born and raised. Um, I have my BFA in dance. I consider myself a performer. Um, my specialty is dance. It's just like for me, I've been performing since I could like walk and talk like I was a pageant baby.

So like, you know, I was kind of groomed for this stage and like the way. I've perceived performance since then has become something that's healing for me. Mm-hmm. like personally, like, and I think that like being able to display other things that I can do, like singing, editing, video, you know, like poetry even like whatever facets of art you can like really draw from.

I feel like Grey Box Collective has kind of like allowed me opportunities to. Do my thing.

Micah: I love that. I love that. Okay, so you said you're born and raised Arizona. See, I migrated from Mississippi to Arizona when I was about 10. And I'll tell you, the heat killed me. I could not have been happier when I finally was able to run away.

Are you a fan of the heat? Like does it bother you? Do you feel like you've acclimated? Is your buddy just embracing it?

Chasity: So now I live in Nevada and I realize how much I like the heat. Yeah. Like I like hot showers, like I turn the heat on, I wear like little sweater jackets and stuff like that. Yeah. So I like the heat, but I don't like the AZ heat.

I'm gonna be entirely honest with you. It's just unbearable. Like people are like, oh, you get used to it. I'm like, I've lived there my whole life. I'm like, I did not. To it?

Micah: Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, I'm the exact same. I feel like I became a human furnace because of Phoenix, and now I'm like, bring me through the cold.

I need, I need something to just counterbalance that. That's hilarious. I love it. Um, cool, cool. So, all right. Kind coming back to. Artistic experience and just you, I know you specifically said that you're like a dancer through and through and I love that I'm envious. I love people who just have like done it from day one.

I adapted and like got into movement and danced much later in my life. I don't actually think it was until. University that I really started to like, dive into movement and the exploration of like body and space and all that good stuff. So like that's, I, I envy to a certain extent. Um, but I am curious when you are getting started, whether it's warming up for a performance or rehearsal space or whatever the case may be, like, do you have like a favorite.

Warm up or check in or like grounding activity before you really dive into, uh, the work.

Chasity: Okay, so if I'm being entirely honest, my favorite part of the process is right before the performance, like in a, in a like in-person performance. For me, it's like doing my makeup. Like, it's something about like the ritual of like putting on your makeup and like getting ready for this stage.

Like it's so, I don't know, like I love it, but like on my day-to-day, I don't really wear very much makeup. Mm-hmm. , so like mm-hmm. , I'm like, let my skin breathe. But there's something about the meditative like process of like, okay, I'm gonna let my body embody these things. Like, I mean, for me, I guess I got into dance really when I was in high school.

but earlier than that, like my pageant talent was singing, but I don't like to sing very much anymore. But when I get the opportunity to, you know, I will. But , it's like, it's, it's one of those things where I feel like. , my artistic journeys have led me different places.

Mm-hmm. and like allowing myself to kind of go with the flow of what that looks like has given me a lot more abundant opportunities than I ever could have possibly imagined.

So like, yeah, I don't know. It's, it is one of those things where it's like I'm deeply passionate about it and rooted in it and grateful for the opportunity.

Micah: Yeah. I, I love that. I love that. And I feel like there really is, uh, you said something that caught my attention about like, uh, you know, in your pageant days, like singing was your, I guess, uh, presented talent and such, and how it's kind of shifted away from that into this new expression of art and, and, uh, you know, um, self, um, I, I am curious.

And I don't mean to pry, so you don't have to answer it's, but that's okay. Uh, yeah, like when, cause I'm, I guess the question is like, when you started doing your pageant days, like how young were you? Did you feel like you had to sing like, , where do you feel like the transition happened from? Like, you know what?

I think that this isn't something that I want to fully explore anymore and shifted into dance per se.

Chasity: Ooh, okay. So , it's, um, it's definitely something I'll answer. So for me, I'm a twin and I'm an identical twin. So my twin sister would also like do these pageants with me and she would. Me and I always felt like it was tied to her identity and not my own.

Mm-hmm. , like I didn't have my own identity. And that was like kind of being snuffed out in some ways. Hmm. And like later on, as I found out, like I grew up in the system and stuff like that, so I was a foster child then I like found out who my real parents. Where I went to live with them, there was just like a lot that like happened and that I experienced, but dance was something that kind of like helped me express like my emotions when I couldn't, when I didn't have words to say.

Like, yeah. So it was like, yeah, like and singing, like, I don't know, singing, like, it makes me feel free, but it also makes me feel like, like I'm stuck in. Like, I don't know, it feels like I'm stuck in that cage still , if that makes sense.

Micah: Yeah, I, yeah, yeah. and sometimes yes, it, that's a hundred percent valid where sometimes we have a, you know, even something that we could enjoy, uh, that, you know, for all intents and purposes, uh, is perceived as something that's, you know, joyous or something that we just express ourselves with.

Sometimes there is something that's really kind of tethered to that. Sometimes weighs us down and if we need a different form of expression. I loved that you were able to find that through line three movement, through dance, and really blossom in that. Like, that's amazing. Um, I, I, I, I know that like, I think part of what keeps me fueled as an artist is like hearing how people.

Hone into what they love because I think sometimes, yeah, we, we , I had a friend in university, I'm kind of tangenting a little bit, that everybody was like, oh, you're such a great performer. You should go straight to Broadway, blah blah, blah, blah, blah. We were all like, rooting for him and I think like talking with him now and uh, you know, getting to know because he ended up.

Like pursuing theater any further than than university. And everybody was like, why? Why? You were like the best in our program. Like you could have gone so far. And I think there's also like just this idea of like, like kind of like expectations of like whether we're being like pitted against someone, um, or if we are, you know, everybody's got these expectations.

Like you should, you should, you. I mean, I even had a, a, an educator, um, sadly enough in like elementary school. I was in band when I was really young and, uh, played in symphony and. She was like, I loved singing and that was my expression of self and that was something that I feel really rooted in.

Um, but it's something I've had to work at. And I had , I had a, uh, a band teacher tell me like, cuz sh. You know, she wanted to build out more people in the band, I think. And I was really interested in choir and wanted to drop one for the other. And she was like, uh, you know what Micah, I actually think that you would make a better instrumentalist than vocalist.

And I was like, that's not what you want to tell someone. And like it did kind of shatter my spirit a little bit where it's like, well wait, like should I listen to someone else? Tell me what I should. or should I find that for myself? So again, I I really do, I thank you for sharing your story, cuz I think, um, sometimes we don't give ourselves permission as artists to let something go if we need to let it go.

Um, it's not say that that's a, yeah, it's not a bad form of expression, but like if there's something that's attached to that, that just isn't for you and your heart and your. It's okay. Um, so yeah, thank you for that,

Chasity: No, I definitely hear you. I'm like that choir story, like, I mean that, that I heard from my own mom.

My mom has a voice of a chair and she was just like, Hmm, like, let your sister sing, like find your own thing. And it's like, all right. Like, I mean, at the end of the day, like I consider myself like a writer, you know? I like my voice. I'm not ashamed of my voice, but it's one of those things where it's like, it's.

It's no longer a comfortable place for me. It takes a lot of my energy. Yeah, it takes a lot of like. I guess of like that thinking that same patterning and it's like, until I can go back and like try to reassociate it, like I just kind of put it on the shelf at times. Like I'll sing karaoke, I'll do like, you know, I'll write songs here and there and stuff like that.

Or I'll. I'll sing like in intimate spaces where I feel safe and like I feel like I can be okay. Mm-hmm. . And that's why like there's times where like I've done like singing opportunities with Grey Box, which just kind of like pushed me outside of that like comfort zone for myself. Like, all right, like, I'm gonna do this

Yeah. But it's like building that confidence within myself, like not living within that imposter syndrome or like the limiting beliefs that others place on you, like, mm. I don't know. .

Micah: Yeah. Yeah, that's, that's the key right there. Exactly what you said, those limiting beliefs, because it's like, sometimes people wanna put labels on individuals or say like, oh, based on what I see right now, you are this or you are that.

And it's like, well, we go through different phases. I may not be what you're looking for right now, but that is irrelevant. So, um, yeah. No, I, I feel you. I feel you. Okay, cool. So tell me this, in your exploration of movement and. When did that intersect with Grey Box Collective? Like how were you introduced?

What projects have you gotten the, uh, gotten to work with?

Chasity: So I've actually been working with Molly specifically since I was a freshman in college. So I was a freshman in college, like 2014. And then, so I like did some projects with her. I was in my undergrad, she was in her graduate program. And so then after that I'd had my baby and then, um, I, my daughter's now four, but like I've been with Grey Box since like 2000.

Teen, I'd say. And now we're like season seven. So yeah, I've been, I've been doing [00:12:00] some things here and there, you know, and it's like as I've progressed through, I don't know, like when I, when I think about like what Grey Box does, that's like, okay, it's this trauma-informed to like creative practice that like allows people to explore their creativity.

At least for me, that's what it. Felt like, and you know, I feel like Molly's talked a lot about like her process and like how it works, but like being immersed in that process is something that like, she really, I think allows for like the collective to do their thing. Like, you know, and so that's where it's like, you know, some people, they try to dictate or control what that creative, um, outcome looks like.

Yeah. And I think for her it's more about like uniting people who have. Similar mindsets or like similar like, like that, like each people that sh like are part of the collective have things that they have as attributes that they can contribute, that they can, you know, Collaborate with. So like that's exciting for me and it's like, that's where I wanna be.

That's what I wanna do. You know, especially with the kind of taboo things that we work with and conversations and things that get brought up. Like for me, that's a very beautiful and honest space to live from. Like, I love transparency. I think we all should. But yeah, that's just me.

Micah: No, I, I love that. I absolutely love that.

Uh, and transparency is really key. I think there's a lot of times where we feel like we need to put up a facade or we feel like we need to omit something or whatever the case may be. And it's like, uh, no. And I feel like every time that I've chosen to be vulnerable in a given space, it's always been okay.

You know, it's always like, there's always this like fear of like, whether it's rejection or, you know, whatever the case may be. . I think there's just this in not, it's not innate. I think it's learned this, this, this hesitancy towards vulnerability. Because we look at kids and we look at, you know, the way that they express their thoughts and their feelings.

And I'm like, sometimes we like look at them. We're like, what did you just say? Like, how dare you? But then it's also like, well that's interesting as we are, like, just as we're born into the. We don't really have a filter. Like those filters are things that we've kind of put up and then we put up the filters and then we spend the rest of our life trying to like break them down so that we can actually connect with one another.

And it's like, why put 'em up in the first place? I think art is a beautiful like space for us to like, like consistently, I feel. Engage in that vulnerability. Um, which I, which I have really come to like, I think that's why I don't know about you. I feel like it is a similar like feeling for you, but I know for me specifically, that's part of the reason that I've chosen to engage art as my, like blue line, like work enjoyment, you know, leisure, everything.

Like I want, I want it to just be central to everything that I do because it is a space of vulnerable. and acceptance. So like, yeah, I, I, I definitely vibe with that. I love that.

Chasity: That's insightful. I was like, yes, absolutely. I resonate with that. Like you said, like it, it's hard to be vulnerable in certain spaces.

Well, when you allow yourself to be vulnerable in a space where you're creating and like where you're cultivating things constantly, like it's just, it's. Yeah. Yeah. I, I feel that.

Micah: Yeah. Well, cool. So do you, okay, out of all the Grey Box, like things that you've been a part of, is there one that like project that's stood out to you that you would like to revisit that you would like?

Yeah. What's something, what's a work, uh, that you've done with Grey Box Collective that you'd like to either re-experience for the first time or just [00:16:00] remount, or just think back fondly.

Chasity: Um, I would say pause probably for me because like during that time I was going through grief and like, I think I've always associated grief with like death, like when I've lost somebody.

But yeah, I was like going through the grief of like my marriage, like, so I'm like currently like going through a divorce and it was kind of like during that time for myself, like I didn't really like allow myself to. , like those feelings of. , you know, like just, it's like, now I feel like I'm flourishing, but like back then it was like, I, I really could see where I was.

Like I could see in retrospect like where things would be and like, I made the best choice for myself. Like, I feel like I am healing now and like I'm moving towards the future that I want for myself. But it's hard when you've made like these agreements with yourself. [00:17:00] Like, you put an investment in something and now you're grieving the loss of that investment that you put in.

You know? And it didn't really click to me until I was embodying it in my body and like paused with something that like really allowed me to do that. Like .

Micah: Yeah. Yeah.

Chasity: So, yeah, no,

Micah: that's, yeah. Thank you. No, no, I really do this. , I, I cannot express how like grateful I am for your willingness to share thanks and be open.

Like it's, it's refreshing in a strange way because like, again, I think there's just such a fear to do this, but to see and like enter into a space in this conversation with you where even I feel, cuz uh, I resonate with what you said about how sometimes we don't allow ourselves to. . I had a very strange, like, era in my life.

Uh, I wanna say when I was in my early twenties, um, maybe even like early university days, so 18, 19. But I had a, a phase in my life where, um, I really did choose to like turn off my feelings. I cannot for the life of me right now, remember why I chose to like, try to turn everything off and really just.

Bottle everything in and up. Like to the point where I would get on like roller coasters and no emotion, just not enjoy myself. Like I loved roller coasters. It was something that I like, grew up liking my dad and I like really bonded over it and it was such a great thing for me. But like I would even just get on these things that are supposed to be fun and still not allow myself to feel and.

Like these are, those are dangerous spaces for us to be in as human beings. Because part of what's, like, I, I think of every example of when someone says like, oh, but that's what it means to be human. And it's always tied to emotion. It's always tied to how we feel or the, our empathy for someone else.

Like every time we think of like, oh, you're being barbaric or animalistic, it's because we're devoid or lacking of feeling.

You know what I'm saying? And it. when we don't want ourselves to do that, we're removing the very thing that we perceive as the most human part of ourselves. So I, uh, I again, thank you for like, giving us the space to like be in these emotions and, uh, you know, my heart goes out to you, um, as you like navigate this transition part period.

Um, and. Yeah, pause was such a beautiful, interesting project. Um, and I, I had worked on the digital side of that project and um, I think as we were building that arc, that exploration of those stages of grief, um, it was really interesting to try to dissect what each emotion. Felt like moved. Like, you know, what [00:20:00] was that experience?

How do we embody this thing that we so sparsely talk about? Like it's, it's, it's always my condolences. It's always, I'm so sorry. It's always thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers. And it's like, what rods, what prayers, you know? And it's like I, there's again, either learned societal things that we've.

For some reason agreed to, and I'm not saying it's bad or good, but it is interesting that instead of having a frank conversation with someone about what it is we're feeling, what it is that we're going through, we say these filler words and phrases to pat on the shoulder without a, you know, for lack of a better phrase.

Um, and yeah, it was so, it was so lovely to, to help flow. I guess try to feel through and move through what, what grief is. Um, so yeah. Yeah. I, I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Um, okay. Shifting gears one more time, I think, uh, the next question I have is a little. . Yeah. I guess in the ideology of like recognizing we are in a space, especially within the arts, that it's okay to be vulnerable, that it's encouraged and, uh, and I, I guess not cherished, but um, Cared for.

It's so, it's cared for when we're vulnerable. Um, I, I wondered like for yourself as an artist, as a dancer, um, how do you feel like you sustain yourself? What does that look like for you? Like, whether it's self-care, whether it's being vulnerable with other artists, um, like what is sustaining yourself as an artist look like for you?

Yeah. I mean,

Chasity: and sustaining myself as an artist is very interesting for me because it's like, when I was thinking about that question, it was like, financially, how do I sustain myself? Like, you know, like I, I think, well right now, like I have a position as a stretcholigist at Stretch Lab and. So like I stretch people all day and like talking to people and like being vulnerable with them, like touching them is a vulnerability.

So then it's like you ask permission, you ask consent to touch them, then you go into the stretches. But like I'm mindful of like how these things pertain to my craft and my art and that these. People are people that like do everyday things, like put cereal like on the shelf or make their coffee or like drive places or, you know, and so like just being mindful that everyone has this experience, everyone has different injuries, everyone's body is different.

But then like being mindful of that same thing in movement, you know, like when I go. Space, and I'm a mover. I'm always a mover. Like I'm always doing those things. So it's like that applies everywhere. But I think for me, like it's, it's part of sustaining is acknowledging like the interdependency between people.

Like I'm a twin, so like I understand that like a lot and like the importance of that. And like for me, being on the stage and doing what I'm doing isn't. Inspiring like me or people who are like me, but like my own child when she gets older. Like, you know, like I used to watch Matilda growing up and I would see Miss Honey and I'm like, I wanna be my daughter's Miss Honey.

You know, like, it's like you wanna be like an inspiration for. You know, the people who are around you and that might not always look the same. Like people are like, oh, like I do burlesque. So like, you know, like it's seen as like, oh, okay, well, like you're in the art of teas, like what does that have to bring to the table?

But I've always identified with being like seductive and central, even as a kid. And like that's something that was frowned upon. Like you're not supposed to like. Express yourself in this manner, in this way. And it's like then when I started to grow up and use it as a way to like empower myself as a way to sustain myself even as like, to get money.

And so it was like people would look at it like, what are you doing? Like, why are you creating this example? But it's like, this is part of who I am. Like the glitz, the glamor, like it's, it's all, you know, embedded in. pain from within that you're trying to unleash, like you're trying to be unleashed from this, this, I think ultimately like lack of life that you could be living and living more of.

Like there's that abundance and like that for me is like where it's at. Like, it's like understanding that like, you know, you can pave the yellow brick road or you can ride, so the yellow brick road on the, like, it's me like. Just kind of embracing and embodying and like accentuating everything that I am for, you know, my craft and what I do and to inspire people to ultimately like have a good impact.

Cuz it's important to have a good impact. And it's like what you do is a statement to who you are. People might not always understand the statement you're trying to make and they may not always agree with it, but it's like at the end of the day, like you have opportunities that shift the way you think.

So yeah, like, I just try to be mindful of that. I, and that's how I sustain. But like, self-care, self-care for rules, that's definitely another.

Micah: Well, I mean, I think what you said is such an interesting perspective of like, honestly, that version of self-care through empowering yourself in whatever you choose to engage in.

Like I love that idea, like being intentional, being mindful of what you're. , but also just doing it. I, I think I was talking to someone else about, I think it's a recurring theme of like, I think what stands out about artists or just people in general that make an impact on the world. They just choose to do things that.

The majority or someone at least just said, oh no you shouldn't. Or, that isn't the way we do this, or that isn't the way we do that, and we do it anyway. And then we make a statement or we make a splash because we do the exact opposite. We grab attention because it's the exact opposite of what is expected of us, of what is, you know, desired of us by the, by others.

And it's like, it's interesting how we live in a world of. . Yeah, I , I think I was talking to a friend about this, but it's just such a strange oxymoron that humanity lives in sometimes where, um, I think I was talking to them about the idea that. There's so much that we want, like, oh, we want to change this.

We want, we want, we want change. We want change. Like things need to shake up here. But then once someone tries to introduce that change, or once that change gets introduced into your life and it starts affecting it, and like you have to adapt to it, there's some resistance. There's some pushback sometimes, and it's like, well, do you want the change or do you not?

And I think that art lives in this beautiful space again, where, because we choose to be vulnerable, because that's where art thrives. Um, and because we choose to go against what people may or may not give us permission to do, um, I think that that lends us to a very unique area where we. just inherently invoke change, uh, whether it's at a subconscious level or a very like, forthright manner.

I feel like a lot of, uh, whether it's activist movements or um, you know, just these, all these unexpected things where. It does grab our attention cuz it's like, oh, society said we shouldn't do this, but someone did it anyway. Why did they do it? And it starts bringing attention back to the core root of like whatever we're trying to affect.

Um, and uh, yeah, I think again, what she said about. , we may not, you know, not everyone's gonna resonate with what we put out there as artists, but that's okay. Being okay with that. Um, and I think that's something that sometimes I know I'm a people pleaser, so sometimes I have trouble like, um, being okay with people not liking me.

Um, that's, that's a very difficult thing for me. Um, and it's something. . I often like run myself down with uh, to a degree where, you know, I'll try so hard to please someone, but then I'll hurt someone else in the process cuz maybe I'm neglecting them or, you know, I do something shitty towards them that's just not okay because in an attempts to, you know, have someone else like me.

Um, and it's just this weird back and forth where we do have to, again, going back to the mindfulness. Realizing that you can't control everyone , which means you can't determine whether they're gonna like you, your art, or anything of the like. Uh, but then also realize that you [00:29:00] can still and will be an inspiration to other people, whether they're people close to you or to people that you just don't even know.

You might have seen them one time. There's been many a time where I've seen a performer or an artist that's really. Spoken to my soul, I feel like, and I don't know them from Adam, like, and I probably never will, at least not on a one-on-one level. But, uh, there is really still something to be said about the impact of our art, whether we could see it or not.

So I, I love that. I love that. .

Chasity: Um, thank you. I'm like for sharing that cuz honestly, like, it's one of those things when you were talking about change, like, you're like, things, you know, do you want the change? Do not want the change. Like oftentimes I feel like we either change things ourself or things change for us and like, it's like there's that, that pattern of like, There's often parallels in our life if we don't continue to like work on the things that [00:30:00] we need to work on.

We see the lessons or the signs or these things. And like for me, that's, that's very much like, I guess, a place where my mind operates from when I'm creating as an artist. Like I acknowledge that like, people are constantly like, they get the opportunity to shift. Its people. Like they get the opportunity to change their mindset, to change the way that they do things, their habits, their routines, their patterns, however you wanna look at it.

But it's like if they don't do that for the people around them, and if they don't see that, and it's like there's this either level of, I guess, Disassociation, so to speak. Then it doesn't allow for any real justice to like happen at that point. So it's like for me, like I look on the outside of so many different situations, like right now I'm like obsessed with the idea of like generational curses and how like you break.

And like that for me is something that like within my art, within my thinking, within my writing, like that is very much where like a lot of things are coming from right now. Yep. Yeah. Um, But yeah, . Exactly.

Micah: I, yeah, I, I love that. And you know, even when it comes to things such as that general generational curses or just any like, I guess anything that humanity just experiences, um, it's so interesting because I, I always think like, even as personal as you make a story, it can literally be your like autobiography.

There will almost always. A good number of people that can resonate with it to some degree, and it's so interesting to me because with how vastly different our lives are, for us to still find some commonality in how we experience and how we deal with the trauma, or [00:32:00] the good or the bad, or the beautiful or the ugly, whatever the case may be like.

However we experience these things, we always. Some semblance of like connectivity through that. I think that just goes back to the empathy, right? That's what makes us human. These emotions that we're sharing with one another. That is the most human element of us, and I think we just all innately agree to that.

So like I, I absolutely adore that. I love that. Um, . I do too. . Yeah. . Um, alright, well shoot man, this is, you're, you're great. It's a really lovely life wise, Mike. Yeah, no, this is, uh, honestly just lit up my whole day. So we like to conclude these conversations by simply asking, Chasity. Are there any other, anything?

Chasity: There are one thing. There is one thing. So there are one thing. There is, let's go. Um, okay. I am really, really grateful for the opportunities that like, Grey Box Collective has presented within Grey Box Collective and even outside Grey Box Collective, like Molly told me about the Bill t Jones and Arne Zane, um, company coming to Cam and it's always been like, A bucket list goal of mine when I was like a student at ASU and I would see people perform at Gamage.

I was like, I'm gonna perform on that stage one day. And so I finally did. And then that opportunity was something that like, not just his work and his thinking and his, his legendary beauty of what he's done for like modern dance, but like, you know, or them. , it continues on and it's like, it continues on with them, you know, with the people that he continues to work with.

And I feel like that's the kind of same deal that we're going through here with like Grey Box Collective, like it's us, it's them, it's, it's, you know, like acknowledging that we all have something to bring to the table and that we all have something to. , we all have a story to tell. We all have a different way of telling it.

And like, that's such a beautiful thing. And like the acceptance of that and the love of that. Like, I'm so grateful to be able to do this with you today. And that's just all I really wanted to kind of touch on and like, yeah. Thank you.

Micah: Thank you for your time. No, thank you. It's been lovely. Uh, thank everyone who's listening.

Um, and I guess that wraps up this episode of Any Other Anythings. We'll see you next time.

Chasity: All right, see you next time.

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